eating disorders – i will grow from this

rest

My mental health has been significantly more stabilized this year, but it’s still a struggle. I am still going through the cycle of grief with my divorce, both of my kid’s experiencing big emotions because of their world changing, and my eating disorder has been flairing up. All of these things take up a lotContinue reading “rest”

Because you’re always sad?

One night this week during dinner, we were talking about how my three-year-old son Tucker is a lot like me (because he is sensitive and empathetic), and my 6 year old daughter said, “because you’re always sad?” It took my breath away. I knew that this was a teachable moment and my reaction was importantContinue reading “Because you’re always sad?”

worth celebrating

I’m not big on New Years resolutions, especially because the majority of them revolve around diet culture, and that’s really triggering for me. But, there is satisfaction to be found in saying, “I fucking survived 2020” I didn’t know if I could make it, but I did. Even if I was dragging, crying and screaming…Continue reading “worth celebrating”

Suicidal Ideation

Today has been really, really difficult. I tried to hold it together so I could get through Wren’s schooling and a visit from her PT and OT. As soon as that was over my suicidal ideation became this huge weight on me paired with the desire to self harm. My eating disorder is fighting toContinue reading “Suicidal Ideation”

Crash

I chopped off most of my hair today thinking it would be fun and make me feel beautiful again. I have been feeling so very unattractive— lots of weight gain because of my medications and zero energy to exercise outside of the house. My eating disorder patterns have been triggered, but so far I’ve beenContinue reading “Crash”

riots not diets

I’ve been debating posting this journal entry all week and decided to share this because I know some of my friends might find this empowering AND I find it empowering because..I lost over 25lbs in 2 months because of my depression. This triggered my eating disorder and it’s been excruciating trying to love my bodyContinue reading “riots not diets”