Words from my husband

I don’t have the perspective of either of my partners on what it’s like to love someone with a mental illness. I am always questioning why in the hell they still stay with me when I feel emotionally paralyzed, but I am so grateful they do. Jim is a phenomenal writer and he shared thisContinue reading “Words from my husband”

eye bra

I felt better after my ketamine infusion last night and this morning Wren came up the stairs and I told her, “mommy is feeling better today,” and she had the biggest smile and it made my heart so happy! I was able to get myself coffee, dress myself (sometimes I need help), and water myContinue reading “eye bra”

ketamine infusion

Tonight I had my first ketamine infusion and it was quite an experience. I remember feeling really emotional and stuck wondering if I was a good person. I threw up during the treatment so they will give me medication at the beginning of my next one. It’s been another exhausting day but I’m feeling aContinue reading “ketamine infusion”

ECT

During my two-week hospitalization I completed 5 (of up to 12 possible) Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) treatments. This procedure is done under general anesthesia, during which the doctor triggers a seizure by passing electricity through my brain. The goal is to alter the brain chemistry that is responsible for this depressive episode. The plan was toContinue reading “ECT”

riots not diets

I’ve been debating posting this journal entry all week and decided to share this because I know some of my friends might find this empowering AND I find it empowering because..I lost over 25lbs in 2 months because of my depression. This triggered my eating disorder and it’s been excruciating trying to love my bodyContinue reading “riots not diets”