I felt happy and positive for 1-2 hours today.
The rest of it I’ve been sobbing, fighting suicidal ideation AGAIN.
Waiting to hear back from my doctor.
We’ve used all the money donated for ketamine infusions.
I don’t know what happens next but I feel like my heart is breaking, how much more can I take?
I’m safe and will make sure to have an adult around.
i will grow from this 
You are not alone. I’ve been in the hospital for suicide ideation as well, too many times, I’ve lost count. Feeling this way is horrible. I’m sorry you had to go through this. I hope you feel better now, since this was posted in September. If not, that’s okay too. You are not a perfect robot that has to be happy all the time.
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Sending a huge hug. I hate seeing people in this state. It’s the worst.
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