Infusion #8

Today I am overwhelmed with hopelessness. I wish I had the energy to tell you more about it but for now I will leave you with something my friend said to me:

Those lowest moments are where we have to dig the deepest and cast our line out for anything that gives us the edge we need. I see you doing that. You are asking for help, and that is the greatest sign of strength and hope possible. Because you know that it is possible to feel better. And that little possibility is the opening door that shines light into the darkness. It’s in the asking that we acknowledge that we are still a bit broken, but that we will try. And it’s in the trying that we discover the depth of strength within us.

DeAnn Hoff

2 thoughts on “Hopelessness

  1. Cassie,

    Your friend DeAnn’s perfect words reminded me of a note my best friend once wrote to me when I was at rock bottom. I hope you don’t mind me sharing:


    “I know yesterday was a challenge, but I wanted you to see/hear what I heard…

    “-You are honoring yourself and are taking creative steps to find new ways to cope.
    -You’re letting your people love you and are reaching out to us… which is what both Tim and myself want!
    -Your body is in shock, but each bump and change means it’s healing itself.
    -Depression hurts, but it isn’t forever. It, too, heals when you are gentle and kind to yourself. Just like your physical body, your heart and brain have feelings that need to sort themselves out.
    -Finally… it sucks… Fucking sucks. But you’re strong and have people who love you… So together we can get you happy and healthy again. Hell, I have a feeling some of the things will make you happier with yourself through this evolution.

    “I love you, and want to walk this journey with you.

    “Keep calling, talking, interrupting, etc. 🙂

    “I’m here!

    “I love you, –W.”

    Her words were perfectly true for me, and what I’m feeling for you now as I read your posts. Please know that I am here, anxiously checking in on you, lifting you up, looking forward to a day when we can smile together on the other side… Because there is another side to this, you know 🙂 Holler if ever you feel like it. You will grow from this ❤

    So much love,
    Katie Beth

    Liked by 1 person

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