pause

This past week I’ve had pockets of happy in the sea of darkness that is in my head. It seems like I have unintentionally paused my life– I’m literally just trying to make it to the next day. I’m waiting, not living.

The ketamine infusions keep me going, but it was becoming quickly obvious that I needed additional medication to help with my depression.

My NP prescribed me Wellbutrin XL and Buspirone. I’ve been on both medications before and they’ve proved helpful. I feel ZERO shame in needing to take medication to survive– you shouldn’t either.

A couple other updates:

We are fighting with our insurance company to get the Ketamine infusions refunded. It’s a lot of money. I’m trying not to feel guilt about that..

On Monday I have an intake appointment for a DBT program. I’ve completed it before and it saved and changed my life.

“Brighter days are coming. Clearer sight will arrive. And you will arrive too. No, it might not be forever. These bright moments might be for a few days at a time, but hold on for those days. Those days are worth the dark.” 

—Jenny Lawson

Be kind, be well, end the stigma

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