running on empty

I have nothing left in my tank— I can barely show any affection to my family and I’m bone tired. I actually fell asleep writing this blog. This week there have been moments when I feel inspired, like I’m able to do something helpful around the house, play with the kids, run an extra errand. Now I have no spoons left, not even to explain the spoon theory to those of you that don’t know. ( I’ll explain another time).

Things have been non-stop since 8am— first appointment with my new med provider, Wren had speech therapy and occupational therapy, then we rushed to pick up her new leg braces, then TMS—-all while running on only 4ish hours of sleep. I fell behind on Wren’s homework. I’m still fighting side effects of slowly withdrawing from Klonopin. I’m physically uncomfortable and emotionally very vulnerable. I’m not looking forward to another night of insomnia.

In the next couple of weeks:

  • The FINAL 8 TMS appointments
  • 2 ketamine infusions per week
  • Therapy once per week
  • Oct 30- Blood work to test my Vitamin D and thyroid levels
  • Nov 5–Annual exam and hopefully a referral to an endocrinologist.
  • Nov 6– first of three psych testing appointments.

I’m still here, still fighting but feeling like I’m barely alive.

Be well, be kind, vote.

One thought on “running on empty

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