Why don’t we talk about the link between depression and memory loss/function?
I struggle with memory loss, the majority of it is related to going through 5 ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy) treatments in August while I was hospitalized. I was informed this would happen, and at the time, my depression was so severe that I viewed it as a benefit.
Now I don’t.
I have a significant gap in my memory from April-September. I cannot recall important conversations. I rely heavily on my partners to help remind me of pretty much everything from details from past events, medication changes, upcoming appointments, what day something happened..
It’s embarrassing that I’m always disoriented. I’m confused and forgetful. If I do recall a memory, I doubt the truth of it because I’m honest to a fault; more comfortable doubting myself than risk lying by accident.
Before I can process anything or make everyday decisions— both are excruciatingly difficult for me— I have to sort through what I lost track of: where did we leave things with my partner? did I express this feeling out loud or did I keep it to myself? did I already feed the kids toast today?
Mental illness and memory loss are linked.
It can be scary.
And we need to talk about it more.
Be well, be kind, end the stigma.