Parenting

Parenting with depression is tough.

This morning I was in my van with tears streaming down my face as I was waiting to pick up my son from pre-k. I quickly wiped my eyes, got out to gather near the other parents, pretending to have my shit together even though I wasn’t wearing a bra and haven’t showered in days. I think I unlocked a new level of a depressed mom.

I had a conversation with my daughter tonight about a schedule change that went like this:

Me: You know how mommy’s brain gets sick and I feel really sad?

Wren: Yes, I know.

Me: Tomorrow your dad is taking you to your appointment so I can stay home and rest.

Wren: okay mommy, that’s ok. I love you.

If only we could be as gentle and understanding towards ourselves.

For the past year I have been making monthly videos on the One Second Everyday app. I document a couple seconds of video everyday as a reminder that even when I feel like I’m failing as a parent and partner, I still show up for the people I love. It’s a obscure form of self-care but it is powerful.

For those parents out there who also battles mental illness, I see you, you’re not alone.

Be well, be kind, it’s okay to struggle.