it’s hard.

My last ketamine infusion was 6 days ago and I still don’t know when my next one will be. I think the reason I haven’t mentally crashed this week is because my anxiety has literally taken over my body and I’m back in survival mode. When I complete a task, I pause afterwards and think to myself, “how did I just do that?”

All of my senses are overwhelmed, I’m irritated, my head is pounding and I’ve been the verge of tears for most of the day.

When I pause and lay down, my physical symptoms become impossible to ignore, so I’ve been rotating my heating pad from my back to my stomach.

Having an existing anxiety disorder + this election + the pandemic + distance learning + fighting this depressive episode. I’m fucking tired.

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