Big Day

Today was a pretty big day for me. Danielle wanted to try something new because the regular infusions were only giving me about 48 hours of relief at best.

She prescribed a patch called Scopolamine which normally used to help with nausea– I think it was accidentally discovered that it makes the benefit of ketamine infusions last longer. So Woody and I picked that up this morning at Costco, and drove to Golden Life Ketamine/The Remedy for a prolonged ketamine infusion.

The Scopolamine prescription
I’ll take this patch off tomorrow morning

Normally infusions take about 45 minutes, and today it took about 90 minutes. For the most part is was extremely peaceful– I have been putting together a playlist to listen to during the infusions which helps keep me calm.

My playlist is playing from this wireless black speaker on my chest.

Afterwards I had my TMS appointment which was different because I was still a little loopy from the infusion. Woody was able to sit in the room with Taylor (TMS Tech) and experience what I sit through 5X a week.

2 weeks of TMS
The duration of TMS is 18 minutes

Usually after treatments I’m wiped out, so I took a nap afterwards. I’m feeling pretty good so far, aside from the side effects of the TMS ( agitation, sensory overload, headache, sore body). I’m not currently feeling any suicidal ideation. Only time will tell but we are keeping our fingers crossed that this was the key to bridge the gap and help me get through until the TMS is fully working.

During dinner, we have a tradition in our family where we share something that made us happy and something that made us sad or was challenging that day. Today Wren said that she was sad that mommy’s brain is sick and at first I felt awful that my daughter is witnessing the ugliness of my battle with depression, but she was able to hear Jim, Woody and I say that we are grateful that the medicine has been working and I’m feeling better today and it made her smile. Hope isn’t something I feel often, but I had a glimpse of it tonight.

Mary Beth sent this to me a couple days ago and I keep looking at it.

I received 2 letters in the mail today, another one from Lee ❤ and one from my old friend Anna which was so perfect. Thank you both.

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