#6

I think all ketamine clinics differ from how they set up treatments. Danielle schedules 6 infusions within a two week period. Tonight was number 6 and the dissociation was intense— slow motion, puzzle pieces coming together, floating in the room, layers of meta on meta, feeling weightless… I’ll never be able to fully explain my experience… like the world is more simple and more complex at the same time. Some patients feel a drop in 10 days and go back for a booster or it might be a month or so before my next infusion. I feel so grateful for Danielle and ended the appointment with a big hug.

Moving forward, I have an appointment with the doctor at The Remedy to discuss TMS and medication management on Thursday morning.

I am the closest I’ve been to remission in over a year. Tonight I was smiling, joking around, being fully present in the moment, feeling HOPEFUL.

I know that progress is not linear and I feel skeptical about being fully in remission because many times this year I think I’ve turned a corner only to crash moments later.

But this feels real and tangible, and I know that these infusions work for me so if/when I do fall back to this dark place, I know I have this tool available for me—I am no longer starting over from scratch, but from experience.