We’ve noticed a pattern that starts on Thursdays– I start to feel anxious and usually just chalk it up to being tired from the long week and TMS, but as soon as I wake up on Friday my heart just starts racing because I know that if I crash, I won’t be able to see Danielle for a ketamine infusion until Tuesday. And the thing is, I don’t always need an infusion during the weekend– sometimes I feel just fine, but the fear is real.
I just hate that I’m actually feeling okay right now, I’m not sobbing in bed, or battling suicidal ideation, but I do feel as though I’m crashing slowly. The anxiety robs me of my peace and it’s so difficult live in the moment.
I’m going to repeat these affirmations this weekend:
- I will get through this, I do every time.
- I am safe.
- I have skills to help me get through rough emotions.
- I am not alone.